a happy ending
by CS Fitzgerald
Summary: She's standing there, right in front of him, wearing a gown of ivory and gold, and it's everything he's ever wanted, to see her like this, but strangely, it does not feel the way he imagined it would. finale one-shot. (nate x serena)


**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gossip Girl or any of its characters (believe me, if I did, Dorota would've been our favourite, backstabbing blogger).

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_**A Happy Ending**_

It feels like it's only been five weeks, or even just five days, instead of the five years that have actually passed since they were last together. Yet, she has somehow never ceased to feel _real _to him. He can still conjure her up in his mind in half the time it takes to say her name and it is completely effortless to do so, just like breathing.

If he just closes his eyes, he can take himself back to that summer, to the sweltering, humid days that sometimes seemed to stretch on forever, and the cool, breezy nights that never lasted long enough. He sees her standing in front of him, silk dress billowing out in the wind, clinging to her body as she looks at him with that easy smile, the one that made his heart whenever she threw it in his direction. He hears her voice, whispering, teasing, in his ear, her carefree laugh echoing in his mind long after her amusement has passed. He smells the perfume lingering on her tanned skin, clean and light, a perfect mix of cotton and lilies and sunshine. He feels her long, golden locks wrapped around his fingers as their heads lean in, foreheads barely brushing. He tastes her lips, sweet and soft and slightly swollen.

This is the Serena he met in his dreams during the nights he was alone, the golden child as he once knew her when they were sixteen. This is the Serena that he remembers, the one he was still in love with, almost ten years later.

And now, at last, here she is, in the flesh. She's standing there, right in front of him, wearing a gown of ivory and gold, and it's everything he's ever wanted, to see her like this, but strangely, it does not feel the way he imagined it would. They are closer physically than they've been since that summer, but he's never felt such a distance between them. He looks at her and suddenly all of my memories are gone. He can't remember her smell or her taste. He can't imagine the feel of her skin and her hair. For one moment, he cannot even see her when his eyes start stinging with tears, even though she is standing a mere five feet away.

Soon enough though his vision clears and there she is again, smiling at him one last time as she walks down the stairs and to her husband. They gaze at each other, with time scattered in broken pieces on the floor around their feet, and for the first time, neither one of us can find the words to say what we want to say.

She looks slightly older now, but the differences in her appearance are nearly imperceptible. The passage of time has been kind to her; she still exudes the same radiant beauty that she always has; her hair and her eyes still glimmer with the ebullience of youth and secrets and innocence, and her smile is still absolutely devastating in the power it holds over him. On the outside, she looks nearly identical to the picture he hold in his mind from five years ago; to anyone else, she could be the same woman. But he know her face better than anyone, and knows there is a knowledge in her eyes that did not exist five years ago, and the addition looks out of place with her delicate features.

Standing in front of her now, smiling at her one last time, he knows they won't have that happy ending. He know this with complete certainty, just as surely as he knows that he will always, always love her. He feels it in the slick, sweaty palms of his hands; in the back of his parched throat; in the depths of his suddenly struggling lungs; in the heart that would forever pump blood to the rhythm of her name.

_I would never be enough for her._

And Nate's only slightly surprised to discover that this epiphany means absolutely nothing to his poor bruised heart. Because no matter how much pain she brings to his life, the fact that she is in it again is enough to justify this constant ache in my chest.

_She will always_ _be enough for me._


End file.
